He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
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my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
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All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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