You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize