You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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