Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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