I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My pussy is not your playground.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
