I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I want to fling myself into the sun
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
