I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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