oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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