Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
