What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
