how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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