I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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