Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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