honey bunches of taint.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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