i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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