Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
