I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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