Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There's always time for handjobs
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
