If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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