Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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