Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
