hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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