onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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