no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
