Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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