I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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