I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
