He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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