hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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