when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Banned from zoo.
Again?
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Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
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Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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