I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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