it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
