I puked a lego.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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