Moan for me like Helen Keller
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
