I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
