People with herpes should wear stickers.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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