I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize