covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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