Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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