Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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