doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
