i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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