I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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