So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He felt like a one man threesome
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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