Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize