Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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