He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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