took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
