elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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