Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
