She is in my trunk
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
