Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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