I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
