Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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