I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
