Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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