I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
