Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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