I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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