The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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