I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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