Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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