This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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